A bittersweet reunion | Mother & Child reunited by DSD after 22 years

Cuma Pantshwa 

Twenty-two years ago, Ms Dineo Monaheng* made the heart-wrenching decision to place her daughter for adoption, yet never lost hope of meeting her again. After two decades of praying for a miracle, Ms Monaheng’s dream came true on 8 October at the Department of Social Development’s offices in Pretoria when she reunited with her daughter, Thandi*, who had been adopted by a family in the Netherlands.

Thandi, born in Pretoria in 2002, grew up in a loving adoptive family in the Netherlands. Now a passionate and talented young woman, she excels in activities like horse riding, playing the violin, and drama, and enjoys music festivals and spending time with friends. Earlier this year, her adoptive parents, in a letter to Ms Monaheng, described Thandi as a “sweet, funny, smart, and self-assured young woman,” whose creative spirit is matched by her confidence.

Ms Monaheng, mother to four boys, chose adoption to give her daughter the life she felt unable to provide. Despite the pain of separation, she held onto hope for a future reunion. Earlier this year, Ms Monaheng received a life-changing phone call from social worker Ms Ndivhuwo Randela, who informed her that Thandi had been searching for her. After months of exchanging letters between Thandi, her adoptive family, and Ms Monaheng, the long-awaited reunion was set.

On 8 October, anticipation and emotion filled Ms Monaheng as she prepared for the meeting. “I am so overwhelmed. I prayed for this day for so long,” she said. Accompanied by her two sons, Ms Monaheng waited for the virtual call in a boardroom, with social worker Ms Randela offering comfort.

At 5 pm, the virtual call connected, displaying four screens: an ISS social worker from the Netherlands, Thandi and her adoptive family, Ms Randela, and Ms Monaheng with her sons. The social workers formally introduced Ms Monaheng and Thandi’s adoptive family, setting the stage for an unforgettable exchange. Ms Monaheng expressed deep gratitude to Thandi’s adoptive parents for their unwavering love and care, calling the reunion nothing short of miraculous. “I’m grateful for this opportunity to reconnect with my daughter,” she said.

In response to Thandi’s letter expressing her eagerness to meet her mother, Ms Monaheng shared her joy in discovering their shared interests. “Like mother, like daughter,” Ms Monaheng said with a smile. “I love that you enjoy music, because I do too! I was part of a jazz group when I was younger.” Thandi, beaming with joy, listened intently and told her mother about a visit to South Africa in 2017, where she had been too young to make contact.

The reunion was filled with laughter, tears, and a powerful sense of connection, as mother and daughter bridged the gap of two decades. Ms Monaheng’s sons watched intently, captivated by their sister’s story. At one point, overwhelmed by emotion, Ms Monaheng began to tear up. Her eldest son, sensing the weight of the moment, gently stepped in. Turning to the screen, he warmly shared stories of their Ndebele heritage, calling Thandi a true “Ndebele princess” and grounding the moment with love and compassion.

In a touching final exchange, Ms Monaheng recalled a poignant memory, telling Thandi that years ago, before she had even told her sons about their sister, her son Lebogang had dreamt of a baby girl who looked just like his mother.

As the world celebrated World Adoption Day on 9 November, Ms Monaheng’s journey became a testament to this year’s theme: “Adoption: The Best Option.” This reunion highlights the life-changing impact adoption can have, giving children a stable, loving home, and the decisions made by birth parents the power to transform lives.